Editor's Note: NSA member Linda contributed story of growing up in a dysfunctional family. People who scrapbook choose to handle such situations in different ways when telling their own stories.
I am so glad that having a perfect childhood or family is not a prerequisite for
scrapbooking my memories. In fact, many of us never would create the first page in an
album if a flawless family history were a requirement. Most families have members who
are either mentally challenged, emotionally ill, on the wrong side of the law, or just
absent. So how does one create scrapbooks that are honest yet not so blatantly negative
that the scrapbooker seems cold and bitter? How does the scrapbooker create layouts that
are "All About Me" when she/he would rather forget?
Like me, many children are reared in homes with alcoholics. The rules of 'don't trust,
don't talk, and don't feel' are taught early and strictly enforced. Children learn to keep
their feelings hidden to the point that the alcoholism isn't even discussed between the
family members in the home. It's as if there is an elephant under the rug that everyone
sees and walks around but no one mentions. The family's attempt to ignore the situation
causes children to question their comprehension. They ask silently, "Am I the only one
who sees what's going on?" or "Maybe I'm the one with the problem." Children from
dysfunctional families carry these hidden rules into adulthood. The journaling or telling
of the family's history is neglected and often forbidden.
In creating my scrapbook pages I have decided to journal truthfully. Through my
journaling my descendants will understand that even though my childhood was difficult I
had a mother who loved me. They will gain knowledge of how alcoholism affected our
family. I believe as a scrapbooker I can document my family's history in such a way to
tell our story honestly without prejudicing the reader.
I encourage scrapbookers with difficult family histories to write their stories; however,
they need to be aware that recalling old memories may create stress and/or depression.
They may find the need to discuss these feelings with friends or health care professionals.
I wish them well as they document their lives, past and present.
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